I’ve been busting at the seams to write this all
morning. I woke up thinking about what
angle I was going to take on pursuit
and when I was going to get around to posting it. A laundry list of unanswered
emails and unread blogs kept me from writing until now.
I’ve been a pursuer my whole life. I wrote Justin Timberlake
an ungodly amount of fan letters and sent him several photos of my fat-faced
twelve-year-old self in pursuit of his attention. As I grew up, my pursuits
became a little more worthwhile through high marks in school to lead roles in
musicals. Community has always been along my heartbeat, so seeking a solid unit
of people to do life with has also been a part of every season.
Photo by Shatter Proof Designs
Through God’s grace alone my pursuits and desires have shifted over the years to match up to His – Godly community, seeing His kingdom on earth, and telling people about His sovereignty in my life. Pursuing, seeking, and running towards.
Fine. Perfect, actually. Go through a season, listen to God,
follow Him into the next season. Pursue his
calling.
Go study abroad in
Spain and help with a college ministry. Perfect. Where do I sign?
Break up with your
boyfriend and release him to me. Tight
fisting and white knuckling this one. Long, drawn out hesitation. Finally
release.
Quit your job and
travel to 11 countries for my sake. Raise $16,000. Swell. That’s a tough one Lord, but I trust you.
Leave your job and
community in Atlanta and move to Nashville. ::Heavy sigh:: Ok. Let’s
go. The new pursuit begins!
But as a woman, what do you do when your heart’s interest is
perked for a man? How do you calm that pursuer’s heart and wait diligently for their pursuer’s heart to be awakened?
The latter part of my Christian journey I’ve walked side by side with God and
chased His dreams for my life. With His guidance and direction, I’ve sought out
and chased and gone after His best.
But when it comes to men, I desperately want to be sought
after by them. And this is where I frankly don’t know what to do with this
pursuer’s heart of mine. I don’t want to take their job or nullify their
attempts at pursuit. I guess this is where patience and submission comes into
play. How does that balance with my longing to seek?
I don’t have a pretty bow or tidy package to end this post,
and quite frankly I would love any suggestions you might have for this angle of
pursuit.
Any ladies out there struggle with this?
As a woman in the same boat as you (you take the right oar, I'll take the left) the thing that the Lord is teaching me these days is that the pursuit of God is the only worthy thing. Men will fail us. Passion will fail us. But God will not.
ReplyDeleteIt isn't easy to pull back on the reins of your heart - when your flesh is crying out for companionship and shared experience. But if you can - do it. Any man that needs to be pursued now, will always need to be pursued. You could spend your life chasing your feelings, always feeling a step behind.
Breathe. My dear. Breathe. Have some coffee. Dress to kill, and wait. He will come.
I think I'm paddling right along with both of y'all. And I'm not feeling patient these days! Ohhh, Jesus.
ReplyDelete