Pursuit is an Action

pur·suit   [per-soot]

noun

1. The act of pursuing: in pursuit of the fox.

2. An effort to secure or attain; quest: the pursuit of happiness.

3. Any occupation, pastime, or the like, in which a person is engaged regularly or customarily: literary pursuits.

I love this definition – simple and straightforward. No confusing remarks, or complicated phrases; just an honest commentary on the meaning of this word. You see, the word ‘pursuit’ is actually a verb.

Part of the reason I think the art of pursuit is loosing stamina among my generation is because it takes dedication and heartfelt action. We are already so overly connected that we fear if we devote ourselves to yet another human being, it will simply implode us. I’ve found that the opposite is true. It actually energizes us because we are investing good fruit into someone else’s life – a truly selfless deed.

If you are having trouble with your kick starter and need an extra push, here are a few tips for some good ‘ol fashion pursuit:

• 1.     When walking into a large group, seek out the people who are alone. When you are in a setting where you feel comfortable and know a good amount of people, seek out the ones on the outskirts. Stop making every single social setting about you and your close circle of friends! Make an effort to seek out the ones who look uncomfortable and silently begging for someone to notice them. We’ve all been there before. Let’s make their initial group hang out not so terrifying.
• 2.     Upon meeting someone new, repeat his or her name. My mom always taught me to repeat someone’s name at least 3 times within the first meeting and conversation. This will help you avoid the embarrassment of, ‘what’s your name again?’ when you run into them outside of the initial meeting place. It’s a tried and true mnemonic device that just works.
• 3.     Focus on what the person is saying. I get terribly distracted, especially in a large group. Oh, so-and-so got a new haircut; Crap! I forgot to return her sweater; I need to talk to him about the next _____ concert; I haven’t seen her in weeks! This string of thoughts continues until I bring it to a screeching halt. All the while the person I am actually having a conversation with is pouring their heart out and I’ve missed it. Embarrassingly, I have to ask them to repeat it because, like a child, I couldn’t pay attention. Your heartfelt focus will make them feel valued and what they have to say is important.
• 4.     Make plans with a new friend, and follow up! I continually have a running list of people who I ‘need to meet up for coffee,’ but never seem to get around to meeting. They linger on that list, and I miss out on knowing them on a deeper level. A good way to bring this list down to zero is to set a date right then and there, while you’re standing with the person. Pull out your iPhone and see when you are both free. If it falls through it falls through, but at least you are writing their name on a time slot in your life instead of the ambiguous ‘someday’ list in the sky.
• 5.     Make this a normal part of your life. Now, obviously we can’t go around being besties with everyone. We can’t go to everyone’s birthday or have a life full of lunch dates and afternoon teas, but we can be intentional about how we spend our time and who with. In Blake Mycoskie’s book, Start Something That Matters, he suggests to schedule everything, down to your rest and rejuvenation time. This way you are having a balanced life, as well as making the most of your time. I think this can be a bit extreme, but he does have a point. If you make pursuit a normal part of your life, filling your time with meeting and pursuing new friends or colleagues won’t become so cumbersome or overwhelming.

It’s simply about taking the drama and awkward introductions out of the equation. We spend our lives meeting people; wouldn’t it be great if we knew how to confidently and easily make them feel welcome?