Feeling Like Gumby

Anyone remember Gumby? He was that green, slightly awkward claymation character with his own show on PBS. He bumbled around with his orange ‘pony pal’ Pokey, and found himself in scrapes and the midst of adventures. I don’t know how a show centered on a green claymation man and his pony lasted so long, but it did. I think we still have our Gumby toys somewhere in my parent’s house -- it was a big Smith family hit.

This week I felt like Gumby. Well, technically I felt like pre-production Gumby. I’m in one of those lovely transition phases, where God is taking me into a new season. A good season, but a new season nonetheless. Which is hard. Really hard. It feels like I’m being stretched and maneuvered around until just right, just like that silly green claymation man.

Faith is hard – simply put. In my heart, mind and logic I know God is faithful. I’ve seen Him come through in a pinch and has yet to leave me ‘without’. But every new season when change comes, that not-so-friendly foe comes around called Anxiety. And in the midst of God molding and stretching me into the woman of faith I'm meant to be, Anxiety pokes along the whole way.

You are being so foolish. You can’t do this – I don’t know if you noticed, but your friend Sam has been trying to get into that profession for months. What makes you think you are any different?

Why do you think THIS is going to be any different? Why would you put everything on the line for Him? He doesn't have the best for you. You had it pretty good right here. 

All of a sudden, with all of the progress you’ve made, you sit in fear for a while. All of the verses you committed to memory and encouragement you've received along the way vaporizes. You start to ask, 'Does God really love me? Is He really faithful?' (This is the point where I envision myself with my feet and hands bound and I am being stretched apart, ever so slowly.)

And it's P-A-I-N-F-U-L.

That is the exact season I am in. The Lord is slowly stretching my faith, eliminating my flesh, and making me rely more on Him. It’s a long, hard process, but I know it will be worth it. When I’m completely settled into the next season, it will be worth it.

At least we can all say we're not a green claymation man with a pony for a best friend, right?