Do you have a case of the Janese? Do you feel like out of the crowd you would not be the one chosen? It’s easy to live in this day and age and feel average and unworthy. We live in the 21st century! It’s not really the golden age for curvy girls like me whose legs aren’t Barbie thin.
We wake up every day to stick figure advertisements, billboards proclaiming that your newest shirt is not enough, and hair styles that go so fast that by the time you get your hair cut, the cut itself is actually ‘so last week.’ We live in a generation where men invite you to a kid’s birthday party to try to get to know you because he doesn’t have the balls to ask you out. So we feel pudgy. We feel awkward. We don’t feel up to par, and it’s certainly not common for a single girl to feel ‘chosen’ when your average Joe doesn’t give you a second glance.
Well, first of all, let me just speak into that sect of women that you ARE chosen. You are chosen by an almighty God who created this world for your very existence. In 1 Thessalonians 1:4, Paul says,
“For we know brothers and sisters loved by God, that He has chosen you. Because our gospel came to you not simply with words but with power, with the Holy Spirit.”
God, the same God who literally moves mountains and splits the sea with a mere thought, loves you. So, just to claim this over the single ladies out there, I will say again that you are chosen and you are worthy.
While I was on the race, I went through a phase when I yearned to be chosen by a man. Everyday I woke up and asked the Lord to send a confident man to pursue me in a unique and (I will say it again) confident way. During this time, one of my dearest friends, Emily, shared the verse above with me and its was like cool water to be reminded that we are important in this vast world, and we’re important to the only one who matters.
However, I think the Christian church has done a fabulous job of skewing these two extremes by saying that your confidence comes only from Christ, and anything else that you do to enhance your confidence is futile. Now, let me explain this. I, personally, put everything that I am in Christ. He is the only reason I breathe, the only reason I live, and certainly the only person worth putting confidence in. However, I am not opposed to putting on a little lip-gloss or darkening my eyeliner for a dramatic effect. And I don’t think those things are wrong. I don’t think its wrong to get dressed up for a date, look in the mirror, and say, “Damn, I look good!” God gave it to us; it’s OK to be appreciative!
So I’d just like to take a minute and give all you ladies a few tips that I’ve picked up along the way to confidence. A few things to put in your pocket and take out on a rainy with you feel a little frumpy, or just need some conversation starters.
1) When taking a photo, put your hand on your hip and stick your chest out.
a. Not too drastically, but just enough to stand up straight. So many people have terrible posture these days and it shows up in photos! I told this to my mom and it changed how she now takes photos.
b. It frames your shoulders and makes you look thinner. I learned this from my college roommate’s mom and America’s Next Top Model. It works for them, right?
2) When you meet someone for the first time, shake their hand confidently and say their name.
a. This not only is a mnemonic device, it shows that you are confident enough in yourself to turn the focus onto them.
b. For the person on the other end, it shows that you can take control of a situation and handle it confidently.
3) Take a few minutes to accessorize your outfit.
a. I love accessories, so this one isn’t hard for me. But it really makes a semi-drab and un-unique outfit pop with color and your own personality.
b. I just really love accessories.
4) Figure out what your body type is, and dress to impress.
a. I’m so tired of seeing people dress the opposite of how they should. There are too many fashion magazines and reality shows not to pick up a few tips!
b. My body is not the ‘popular’ type for 2011. I have a thin waist, big legs, curvy hips, and a bigger chest. I’m not long and skinny and lanky, and guess what? I’m not apologizing for it! I wear dresses that cut in the smallest part of my body, and accentuate my curves. And that’s fine.
c. For the skinny girls, you can have a little more fun with the skinny jean trends and maxi dresses. And don’t apologize for it!
5) When making decisions, stick to your answer and don’t apologize!
a. There is nothing less attractive than someone who is indecisive and apologetic for it. God has given us wisdom and discernment; use it! He has an ample supply J
b. You will be more confident in yourself if you are confident in your decisions. Trust me; I learned the hard way!
c. Even if you make a bad decision, stand by it and the reasons you made it. We can look back at any decision we’ve made and overanalyze it a million times. It’s made. It’s in the past. You can’t change it, the least you can do is stick by it.
6) When you are talking with someone, maintain eye contact and physically affirm what he or she is saying.
a. I have to focus really hard on this. I get distracted so easily and can find myself looking at the blue sky, and then I’m off in Cape Town again, seven months ago, and I’ve totally forgotten what that person has said. Eye contact, it helps.
b. Sometimes I like to affirm that I am listening by touching their shoulder or their arm. Especially if they are funny.
c. Be careful with this with the opposite sex; they can easily take it as flirting. If you want to flirt, this is an excellent venue!
Well friends, this is all I have for now, frankly because I am tired. But, as always, feel free to e-mail me with thoughts, questions, or stories. I’ll profile you if you make me laugh!
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