It Takes Hitting a Deer.

Sometimes it takes hitting a deer to realize that you are going too fast. At least that’s what it took for me. I’ve been running my life a mile a minute over the past few weeks, looking over my shoulder at Jesus asking me to slow down.

I keep running faster; thinking he will just catch up with me instead of sweetly beckoning me to slow down and wait for him. So I run. And my legs begin to quiver, I being to breath harder, shorter breaths, and my focus on Him fades.

I’ve been focusing on everything but Jesus lately. My job. My future. My family. My budget. My friends. My life.

I’ve forgotten that He is my life, and everything that I have or do is His.

I was driving home from an event this weekend, utterly exhausted. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted. I was winding around the road nearing my house, and a giant deer ran out into the road, and rammed into the side of my car. I screamed, re-gained control of my car, and looked in the rear view mirror to see the deer bob up and down in agony.

And. I. Broke.

All of my pent up emotion and yearning for the love of our Father bubbled to the surface in the form of big, wet tears. And I sobbed all the way home.

I am fine, my car (miraculously) is fine, but I need to be revived. I need Jesus. I need his fulfillment, not the fulfillment of success or a busy schedule, but just purely, simply Jesus. All it took was hitting a deer. Why something so drastic? 

My Favorite Quote

"There will come a day, perhaps years later, when you suddenly see what it meant. If one could understand it now, it could only do one harm."

-C.S. Lewis

Have you ever been watching a really intense thriller and someone walks in, recognizes the movie, and blurts out the ending? You’re in your living room, the lights are off, and you are methodically putting one cornel of popcorn in your mouth at a time, and the mood is totally smashed by Johnny Talks-a-lot. It doesn’t take long for the offender to realize his wrong and slowly back out of the room, shamefully.

As a person who loves suspense and relishes in surprises, the resident ‘bubble-burster’ would have had an earful of “what were you thinking?s” and “you just ruined the BEST part!s” from yours truly.

In all honesty, I think I would do the same thing is someone from the future came and announced my ‘end of story.’ As much as I want to know where I’ll end up, I have to agree with Lewis when he states that ‘it could only do one harm.’ Plus I can’t help but envision him sitting at his monthly Inklings meeting at the Eagle and Child pub discussing such matters with other academic greats. This strangely gives him even more credible proof that he knows what he is talking about (to me at least). 

What do you think? Do you think that knowing the outcome of your life would help you or do you harm?